mammogram story.. guys beware but welcome if you dare.

[CamaroQueen]

Ok guys this is just some of what we women go through.

I actually kept my mammogram appointment.

I was met with, "Hi! I'm Belinda!" This perky clipboard carrier smiled
from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, "All I need
you to do is step into this room right hereee, strip to the waist,
thennnn slip on this gown. Everything clearrrr?"

I'm thinking, "Belinda try decaf. This ain't rocket science."

Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors. Call me crazy,
but I suspect a man invented this machine. It takes a perfectly healthy
cup size of 36-B to a size 38-LONG in less than 60 seconds. Also, girls
aren't made of sugar and spice and everything nice..it's Spandex. We
can be stretched, pulled and twisted over a cold 4-inch piece of square
glass and still pop back into shape.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the
left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a
tad so we can get everything?"

Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not
use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off?

My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other
boob wedged between those two 4" pieces of square glass) when we heard,
then felt a zap! Complete darkness and the power went off!

"What?" I yelled.

"Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag." Belinda headed for
the door .

"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone, are you?" I
shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy . the door's wide
open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be righttttt
backkkk."

Before I could shout "NOOOO!" she disappeared. And that's exactly how
Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked
and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed
between glass!

After exchanging polite "Hi, how's it going" type greetings, Bubba (or
possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was
off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as
possible. "Uh, yes, yes I did thanks."

"You bet, take care" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd
been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin and making
no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said. "Oh I am soooo sorry!
The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I
went to lunch. Are we upset?"

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the
clamps........

[MasterZ]

[Randy L]

Nora,

Tell me this didn't personally happen to you!

That's crazy! I'm just glad they don't have something like that to test for testicular cancer!

I know the trauma my wife endures with the OB/GYN appointments and the PMS (cramps, etc) before her hysterectomy. In a joking manner I always say, "Hey, Even never should have taken that apple!" Then I get slugged by her fist.

It does suck though, what the women must endure.

[Badass94Redz]

Im very sorry to hear that, it sounds like that woman was a ditz and on top of that 2 men got a free show? I would of went off! Oh yeah it did say guys can come of they dare correct?

[CamaroQueen]

Randy,
No this did not personally happen to me. But had it there would have been some serious crying from those who had to endure my rath.

But guys it really does tell how it is up to the point of the powere outage. Remember all the tissue up to your armpit is considered breast tissue and you have to litterally hug and shove your body to the machine. I am just glad that I have something to put in there unlike some women who have almost less than most men. THAT would be painful.

[Randy L]

Originally Posted by CamaroQueen

I am just glad that I have something to put in there unlike some women who have almost less than most men. THAT would be painful.

Oh so now she's just BRAGGING! [Gives "Dad" a high five!]

[CamaroQueen]

Actually I have a friend who is flat chested and I feel for her cause she has breast cancer in the family. I cant imagine how hard it is to shove nothing onto a machine.
I complain to Jim about the size and would be willing to be a donor if it was possible. Large boobs are aweful.

Heck even if I only had a small set i would be grateful to have at least something. but all the extra is not needed. hahaha.

Oh and no high five to Jim they are not his he does not have to carry around the burdens. haha.

but on a serious note... You men should have one done as well. Breast cancer is not just a female problem.

[Randy L]

Yea, I read that breast cancer in men occurs surprisingly more often than most would expect. Also, the pain and suffering of the chemotherapy and other medicines is enough to make most men wanna jump off a cliff I'd think.

[CamaroQueen]

The sad thing is is that it is curable if found and treated early.

[Firehawk409]

Sounds painful, but for man to get his prostate checked out isnt to fun either from what I have read. Finger in the butt and if needed a camera in the wee wee. Both make me cringe.

[CamaroQueen]

Originally Posted by Firehawk409

Sounds painful, but for man to get his prostate checked out isnt to fun either from what I have read. Finger in the butt and if needed a camera in the wee wee. Both make me cringe.

Yep that one too goes for women. Not too fun when it comes to stuff like that but I figure the edurance of being checked outweighs the fun of fighting something thatis out of control. I will do the 45 minutes of checking if it can help prevent years of medical treatment for cancer.

[thelastz28]

Wow!

[Stubbs]

OH MY GOSH! That would be the absolute WORST thing to ever happen. I would have definitely done more than put that nurse's head in between the clamps. Mammos are the most horrible things ever. I do have to agree...I think it was definitely a man who invented that machine....I had to get one because I had a cyst and well mind you...there isn't much there so they pulled and stretched as much as possible. Omg....it made me want to vomit it hurt so bad.

[Stubbs]

That was probably TMI for you males, but any female that's had one knows exactly how I felt.

[CamaroQueen]

Originally Posted by Stubbs

That was probably TMI for you males, but any female that's had one knows exactly how I felt.

That is why there is a warning label on the thread. hahaha.

And in the ladies lounge.

I feel for you.
I had to have a biopsy and I was fine with all of it but the needle in the nipple part. I litterally cried thinking about it. And no numbing allowed cause I had to have a mammo immediately after the needle with dye in it. Not fun at all.