girl thoughts...just need to vent. :(

[z28camarocarri]

(i just copied and pasted this from my myspace page, didnt want to type it again) just one of those days where i need to be a girl and be emotional...lol. need some girl advice too.


My current thoughts....
Current mood: confused


I wish sometimes I could just say the things I want to say. The things I need to say. Ive always been the girl to keep her feelings bottled up inside in fear of hurting others, but when will I realize its only hurting me. I know it is, but yet cant face the fact I just need to talk. I can put my thoughts on paper all day long...but when it comes time to say the words, they wont come out.

Today was one of those days, I couldnt sleep and just thought all night. Not exactly sure even what I was thinking about.

Have you ever had a connection with someone so strong it scares you? One of those feelings like everything is going to well to last? Every time you talk to them you feel sick to your stomach, in a good way? When you think of them you smile? they can make you laugh? make you think thoughts youve never considered before? Have you ever just felt like crying for no reason at all? Thats me right now.... so many thoughts crossing my mind but yet I dont know why....I dont know what about....and I cant even answer them and no one else can either.

He's exactly what Ive been looking for. We hit it off from the begining....talking for 4 1/2 hours on the phone after talking for 2 online....it seems so unreal while its happening. Seeing him every day for the last week (besides today) has been the best thing ever. Even though 25-30 minutes isnt the longest time in the world....time stands still when he is with me. the little things have all been adding up and making this seem so unreal to me. Unfortunitely, we've moved way to fast....I see this now. He saw this before. I want to take 5 steps backwards....but I cant. He intrigues me....he makes me think...makes me wonder things ive never wondered before....i barely know him, why am i so wrapped up in this guy?

I told myself I wouldnt fall quickly for anyone ever again after all the bad things from my past relationships. I had my gaurd up on high level when I met this guy....until he kissed me, the world fell in front of me. There was meaning there...He says there is nothing to him, he's empty....i believe otherwise. He has deep emotion that he is fighting (in my opinion) and is scared too...after his last relationship being so long, i probably would be too. I dont know anything about what happened there....i will leave it up to him to tell me. but I dont want to mess this up. He is, in my eyes, that perfect guy. I need to slow this down though before i loose it. It scares me knowing i probably already screwed up.

there is a reason im not putting his name....there is no need, he knows who he is. if he even reads this. but its not here for that, its here because i needed to get my feelings out. I dont care who reads this or if any one does at all. Its for me.

now if i could just tell him all these things.

I like him.....i really do.

[Shortee]

Hon, take your time. Let it come naturally, dont try to rush or slow things down..... just take it as it comes. If it is meant to be it will happen, there is no need to get worked up over it!

[z28camarocarri]

so much easier said than done. lol.

[CamaroChica]

carri! it helps to get the emotions, out, worst thing to do is keep em inside, then after awhile the littlest thing might set ya off and it will all come raining down! I know it is easier said then done, but try and maybe take your mind off of it and direct your energy toward something else! like carmen? or maybe start a new hobbY! ya know

[z28camarocarri]

thanks chica. I dont even know whats going on right now. he is beyond short with me and I think ive ticked him off or something. I hope not though. We were suppose to go to the movies today, thats not happening. I just dont want to annoy him ya know. but if i dont talk to him then he gets wierd with me too because he thinks he did something. gosh darn boys.

I dunno.

[CamaroChica]

hmmm have u already talked to him today??? so he gets mad if you call and then also if you dont call???

[z28camarocarri]

he doesnt get mad. he's just been odd the last two days. something somewhere went wrong friday night.....I dunno

I talked to him this morning, he was texting me, and i called him...we barely said 5 words to each other. I really dont know.

[CamaroChica]

awww hmmm tricky boys!!!!!!!!

[z28camarocarri]

welp im pretty sure that this is going nowhere. i quit with guys. screw it.

[z28camarocarri]

ok...for all those guys who call us complicated....i dont ever wanna hear it. this boy is wacked in the head. we just got done talking for 2 hrs and he was perfectly fine with me. ugh. saying how he misses seeing me and cant wait til this weekend ( i was unaware i was seeing him this weekend but ok!) lol. boys.

[SexyHawk]

I agree with Shortee (sp?), just take it as it comes, everything will fall into place naturally. Don't try to force anything one way or the other, just go along for the ride and most of all ENJOY IT!!! Falling in is one of the best parts of love (or like or lust or infatuation or tolerance or whatever...). We're all here for ya anytime you need to talk. We understand how frustrating those confusing boys can be just take it as it comes babe and know we're here for ya!!

[z28camarocarri]

thats exactly what i started doing this week with him...and today was great when i took him lunch, the last 2 days our conversations have been wonderful as well. so im just taking it all as it comes.