Lost my Father-N-Law

[Tony]

There are many of you on here that know me. I used to have the name "Import This!" but thought that this name suited me better. Tonight about 11:30pm, 45 minutes after my wife got home from the hospital, she got a call that her father had passed away. He has had a bad heart for many years and his lungs started shutting down. They put him on "the bottle" (I had to, I'm a car guy. And yes I said that to him as well) and that got his O2 saturation up to where he could do things again. He was sitting at my kitchen table and started having really bad chest pains but wouldn't go to the hospital. He went home that night and the next morning went to the hospital. He has been there for about a month. His blood pressure dropped really low the past couple of days and I just warned that the end was near to my wife. Now, I'm not a spiritual person and I base everything I see on science. But, my wife is and that is why I am writing this now. She needs all of your support and prayers to deal with this hard time in her life. She isn't taking this very well and I had to stay on the phone with her just to make sure that she didn't start crying on the way to the hospital. This has been one of the best sites that I have seen (car or not) on the net and I know that when she reads this, it will put a little comfort in her knowing that people that she has never spoken with are behind her. I stayed here at the house to be with our two daughters (not sure how to tell them, any advice would be great) and to finish her car. Oh yeah, I didn't tell you all that the engine in her 97 Camaro let go and I'm having to put a new one in it. She has been driving her dads car for the last week or so and that has just come to an end. But if you all would, send her and her brothers (4 of them) your prayers and thoughts. I know that it would mean a lot to her. One of her brothers is on here but I can't remember what his S/N is. I will post it when I figure it out.

Thank you all,
Tony N.

[FANTA-Z]

Consider it done my friend and if you all need anything please dont hesitate to ask.

[JonnySTS]

Sorry to hear. Prayers sent.

[Gatorhead]

I am so sorry to hear about this! There are no words one can say to help another to grieve for the loss of a love one. In each his own time will heal the wounds and warm the hearts with the spirit and memories of past.
The power of prayer is indeed a wonderful thing! Let you and yours be consoled during this time of hardship and know that your father was blessed to have such a wonderful family and life. He will be welcomed and healthy in his new life.
I will pray for his soul and for the comfort each of you desire in knowing that God has chosen him to come home and he has safely arrived!

Jack

[Tony]

Thanks you guys. She hasn't come home yet but I did talk with her and we do have a problem. Her dad didn't have any insurance and the cremation is going to cost somewhere in the area of $2000 when it's all said and done. I don't know if I can do this or not so Jason and Glenn let me know. What I was wondering is if we can setup a donation kind of thing to help out her family? She is going to go around to the church groups and other org's to see about raising money for him. She is in a total loss of words on what to do. with what we have been through with the cars and the house, we have used up all our money and the rest of the family is worse off than we are. If this will be allowed here on the site, I will give my email address for paypal and I will also setup an account at my bank just for the service. Thank you all, this is going to mean so much to my wifes family.

[CamaroQueen]

Tony,
Please be sure to give your wife a hug from all of us here. We do care and when one hurts we all hurt for them. I know that this is a difficult time and things are going to be hard to cope with but in time life will go back to being normal and the tears will not come so readily. Be strong and lean on each other for support. Know that Her dad is in a better place and that he no longer is in pain or having difficulty with his breathing or his heart. He is watching over each one of his children and will give them the guidance they need.

The kids already know that something is wrong. Even if you and your wife try to hide your emotional rollercoaster theyknow. Kids are much more resillient than we think they are. IMO the best thing to do is sit down with them and tell them that grandpa has passed away. Let them ask the questions that to them are important. They will guide you to what they need to know. Also a good thing to do is to allow them to talk about grandpa. It is a great healer being able to talk about the person we lost. I am sure that at this time there are many things that you see or do or hear that reminds you of him.. even more so at this tender moment. Do not be afraid to laugh and say... Ha ha that is exactly how my dad was.. Or That sounded just like my dad or I remember when... All of the talking will bring tears but they are tears that will help you grow and move on in your own time.

Maybe and this is jsut something to think on... if you think it would help the kids... maybe offer for them to help make a special dinner.. something that grandpa woudl have liked or his favorite foods and ahve a going away dinner for him. Celebrate his life and what he meant to each of you. At this dinner you could also open up and talk about your favorite things that grandpa did or said or what made him special to you. You might even make it a family affair... Invite the brothers over as well as their families...Again this is jsut an idea but it could help all of you.

Keep us posted and know we are all praying for you in your time of need.
God Bless

[1LE HAWK]

Sending prayers ya'lls way, Tony.....stay strong for your wife and family!!

See ya on the road,
Matt

[94greenbandit]

My family will be thinking of you guys through this trying time

[WartHog]

Tony, my prayers go out to your wife and the rest of your family. I'm posting up the lyrics to a song I think is appropriate and may help your wife and family too.

Third Day, from the album "Wherever You Are"

"Cry Out to Jesus"

To everyone who's lost someone they love
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
when you said goodbye

And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keeping you back from your life
You believe that there's nothing and there is no one
Who can make it right

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus

For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on
They lost all of their faith in love
They've done all they can to make it right again
Still it's not enough

For the ones who can't break the addictions and chains
You try to give up but you come back again
Just remember that you're not alone in your shame
And your suffering

When you're lonely
And it feels like the whole world is falling on you
You just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus
Cry to Jesus

To the widow who struggles with being alone
Wiping the tears from her eyes
For the children around the world without a home
Say a prayer tonight

[Jasin]

Sorry to hear that man

[Tony]

Thanks WartHog, this is going to mean a lot to her. She finaly was able to come home and she is asleep right now. I was going to show this to her when she got home but she needed her rest. She said that she did want to read it and Nora, I think you have one of the best ideas for my two daughters. I know that she can and will pull throught this. I lost my father suddenly when I was 13 so I know the paint that she and her brothers are going through. To me, it's like I'm reliving this all over again. He was a great man and just a joy to be around. He would give you the shirt off his back if that is what it would take to make you happy. He gave me his daughter and I don't know of anything better that he could've done for me. Thank you all for your support.

And one more thing, I did find out that the cremation is only going to be about $700 + the urn. If you would like to help out the family you can and I know that they would appriciate it very much.

[fast 93 z]

Sorry to hear this Tony. Stay strong bro!

[Firehawk409]

Sorry to hear about this bro. Tell your wife to keep her head up and stay strong.

[SmokinWS-6]

My thoughts and prayers go out to u and your wife and her family. I pray that god will help u get through this rough time. Just remember we are all here for u when u need a shoulder to lean on.

[Jpack]

Very sorry to her bud. Our thoughts and prayers go out to your family.